Xiuli Wang and Clara Hughes

	Long track speed skating coach Xiuli Wang and multiple Olympic medallist Clara Hughes epitomize the coach-athlete relationship. Credit: Mike Ridewood

Clara told me that when she made her decision to try to make the national speed skating team, she was placed at first with the national team, but she felt that she was not getting the technical help she needed. “I knew what it took to be successful. I demand a lot from myself and of other people, and what Xiuli said made sense to me—she had the ability to teach me the technique—and that is what I needed. She was so calm, and so patient with me—she pushed me too, but she had the patience to teach me. She would say, ‘This is going to take time; let’s see what we can do.’ After seven weeks of training, I made the national team, and after 16 months I had an Olympic bronze medal. I wanted to keep Xiuli as my coach, and I had to fight for that. Xiuli and I have done this together. She is such a great competitor, so motivated herself, so hungry, it makes me look at myself. Her ability to articulate technique is incredible, and she has a big heart. I never feel alone. I share my successes with her.”

What is most profound about this coach–athlete relationship is the caring, the honesty, and the respect for each other. The coach had the skills to teach this athlete the speed skating technique that was the critical foundation for her competitive success in a new sport, she was clear in her communication about what was necessary, and she was patient. She had the ability to know when to push and when to be gentle, and as a result she built a trust that, in turn, built a strong relationship and great success on the ice.

Melody Davidson and Hayley Wickenheiser

	Motivation matters to Coach Davidson. Credit: Jeff Vinnick hockeycanada.ca.

Hayley said that her relationship with Mel “is all about mutual respect. I admire her passion and dedication to the game. She knows the game; she loves the game; she is giving it everything she has—you respect that. And she values my opinion. I have been in the program for 16 years, I am mature, and I can get her attention. We have the same goal. When I bring issues to the table, she is not hard-headed. She doesn’t have much ego. She listens, she says she will look at it, or she gives me her reasons for not changing something. We are both good at letting it go; sometimes we simply agree to disagree. But she is always open and receptive, if you show you are accountable and professional. And she is very organized.” Interestingly, Hayley felt that Mel was good at communicating. “She is good at communicating the ‘why’. Women want to know why, or they tend to jump to conclusions, and Mel is good at answering that. But coaches have a tough job; we, as athletes, want to know that the coach has control. It’s a fine line.”

What is intriguing about this coach–athlete relationship is the importance, still, of the individual, even within a team sport. Mel and Hayley have formed a strong working relationship because, in part, they are very similar—passionate about the game of hockey and sharing the goal of winning an Olympic gold medal. But that similarity also had the potential to cause problems. As Hayley said, “We don’t always see eye to eye.” And yet knowing each other for many years—Hayley the talented athlete, and Mel the assistant coach and then the head coach of the national team—and having a mutual respect and love for the game have helped them grow together. It took that fine balancing act by the coach of listening well and then leading, either by changing, for example, the power play, or by explaining why it would stay the same. It is equally important to note that Mel acknowledged that she had to work at communicating. She knew it was a critical component for the team’s success, and so she “worked hard at it, every day.”