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Confidence Tannen cites studies that show, in terms of verbal behaviour, that women are more likely to downplay their certainty and men are more likely to minimize their doubts. She suggests that what may look like lack of confidence on the part of many women may be a reluctance to appear boastful. What does this mean for you, particularly if you coach both female and male athletes? Primarily it means that you need to hone your listening skills. Is the male athlete who appears confident really feeling ready and well prepared? Is the female athlete who is reluctant to state out loud that she is confident and ready really lacking in confidence? Here is where you need to be very careful about making assumptions. You need to step back, ask questions of each of your athletes to find out what they are thinking and feeling, and really listen as they speak. What they say and what they mean may differ. Regardless of gender, and within the context of high performance Olympic sport, confidence can be a fragile commodity. In conducting in-depth interviews with many of Canada’s Olympic athletes over the last five years, I have discovered that at the Olympic level, many athletes’ level of self-confidence (and this was similar for both females and males) was quite fragile. The ebb and flow of that self-confidence was linked directly to past performances and the relationship with the coach. I found that when competition was going well and they were performing well, many athletes felt quite confident in their abilities. When they were working well alongside their coach, had a trusting and respectful relationship, and had confidence in the training program, then they also described themselves as confident. But for many of those athletes, when one of those components was missing, so was a significant degree of self-confidence. Neal Marshall said that he had great confidence in Ingrid Paul’s training program and great confidence in her ability. He felt she was as committed to success as he was, and all of that translated into personal confidence. Asking
Questions Tannen adds another dimension to thinking about questions when she writes that "although asking the right questions is one of the hallmarks of a good manager, how and when questions are asked can send unintended signals about competence and power." Many boys are socialized to be aware of the power dynamic of asking a question; the asker can be seen to be in a "one-down" position. Often, men feel they lose face by asking questions, and Tannen cites the well-worn example of men being less likely than women to ask directions when they get lost. As well, as Tannen so aptly puts it, "men who believe that asking questions might reflect negatively on them may, in turn, be likely to form a negative opinion of others who ask questions in situations where they would not." This was clearly the case when a woman coach mentioned that she asks questions of her mentor coach to fully understand what is going on, but he perceives this as a weakness on her part and infers that she "must not know very much." Within the sporting context, what solutions might there be to resolving how and when to ask questions? Awareness that gender differences may exist is the first step. If you are coaching male athletes, be aware that they may not be comfortable asking a lot of questions; therefore you need to create an environment where they feel comfortable articulating what they might be feeling and thinking and worrying about. An individual meeting rather than a group setting might be necessary. At the same time, many male and female athletes at the Olympic and world championship level are not at all reluctant to ask questions. Elaine Dagg-Jackson, coach of numerous successful women’s and men’s curling teams, including Kelley Law’s 2000 world championship team, Dean Joanisse’s British Columbia team, and Team Japan for six years, sees few differences between women and men at the elite level of competition.
Danièle Sauvageau, coach of the national women’s hockey team and former assistant coach of the Montreal Rockets, found that both male and female athletes ask questions. However, the men’s questions are often simply related to how they are going to do something, partly, Danièle feels, because they have been playing hockey for so long. The women often need to know why the team is doing a particular type of training or why such a decision is being made, and the questions are often related to their role on the team and their role in relationship to their teammates. Danièle’s observation supports Tannen’s findings that women strive for connectedness and closeness in their lives.
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2001 Understanding
The Differences Between How Women And Men Communicate Download
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2001 Coaching Association of Canada, Coaching
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